DOING A GOOD DEED FOR OUR PAST.

DOING A GOOD DEED FOR OUR ELDERS.

I would like to dedicate this blog to the following persons: my grandparents (both maternal and paternal) and my dad, who are all deceased; my mother (Mammy) who is presently seventy-eight (78) years old and all the other elderly persons in my life.

Our society must make it right and possible for old people not to fear the young or be deserted by them, for the test of a civilization is the way that it cares for its helpless members. Pearl S. Buck

This week again, I am starting my blog with a video (Old Time Days by Richard Nappy Mayers)- another beautifully composed song by one of our local greats.

 

 

"Bring back the old time days

Bring back them old time ways

I know everything must change

But I still love the old time days."

Personally, I don’t think he was talking about bringing back all things from years gone by. I would like to think that he was talking about the old time values that are so quickly being lost.

Last week, even though I had a very busy schedule, I decided to make some time to spend with my seventy eight years old mother, Mammy, as I so lovingly call her. She is a retired primary school teacher and a very strict disciplinarian, who, thankfully :) has mellowed throughout the years. I also encouraged my two daughters to sit in the conversation, so that they would know what life was like back then in Trinidad and Tobago and to also be aware of the many privileges that they presently have and take for granted.

I must state that I am not a delinguent daughter, for I see my mom regularly. It is just we never really get chance to chat,  for her to tell  me about her childhood, her life... 

 

She said, of course, that growing up “life was hard" but those were times that she will always cherish. She remembered having to “tote water" from the river, where the family would also wash their clothes.

 

Meat, mostly chicken, was only a Sunday lunch luxury and the only exception for meat during the week was when one of the “yard fowls got knocked down by a vehicle".

 

She recalled the creativity of her own mom (my deceased grandmother, who we called “Mama”) using the big cloth bags that was used to store the flour, washing and then dyeing the bags to make school clothes for them. Even when clothes were donated to the family, Mama would skillfully convert/redesign them so that even the donors did not recognize the clothes.

Although life was hard, there was always something to eat, no matter how simple, because everyone in the village used to “make garden” and they would  all share their harvest.

(Chemical–free, what we refer to now as “organic”)

Since there was no television, neighbours used to gather at each other homes in the evenings to talk about current issues. The adults spoke "patois" so the children would not understand what they were talking about. (That was gossiping-time.) My mom remembered that there were lots of interaction (and laughter) amongst the neigbours. Each adult in the community had the same “rights” as the parents and everyone played a role in the upbringing of the child.

As the African Proverb states “It takes a village to raise a child.”

Education was always stressed and important to the family because it was viewed as a way out of poverty. She said she grew up enjoying the simple things in her life and it made her more appreciative of small blessings, something she always tried to instill in us, her children.

I compared Mammy's life to my present life, which I know is similar to most individuals of my age-group. There is hardly  any time for communication at the family level.  Although, thinking about it, there is time, it is just that each person is more preoccupied in his/her own activities, be it tv-watching;cell-phone chatting; internet-surfing etc.  For most persons, there is a television/computer in every room, and this encourages each person to retreat to his/her own space.

Technology has its place, we know, but sometimes the abuse/overuse of it can result in not so favourable outcomes. We are slowly losing our interpersonal skills…our human connections.

Look at what happens for those of us who use public transport, the commuters in the bus or maxi taxis, would prefer to be chatting or texting on the cell phone for the entire trip, than to talk to  the person sitting next to them.

We seem to be a people who have no problem discarding the old (the past), in favour for something new. Take for example, the plastering of the walls of Lapeyrouse Cemetery, Tragarete Road, Port-of-Spain. These walls which are nearly 200 years old are made of Laventille limestone. History…our history...our past....

 

I was happy that I got a chance to chat with Mammy about her childhood and her life. I was also happy that my two (2) daughters were also involved in learning something about my mom's life. I do hope they appreciate all the good things/opportunities they have in their lives. We have been meeting and chatting with Mammy about "de ole times days" more regularly ever since, and she just enjoys the chance to reminisce.

 

For those of you reading my blog, when was the last time, you sat with your parent(s), grandparent(s) or any elder(s) in your family/community  (if they are still alive ) and found out a bit more about their past?

 

If you still have a living elderly member of your family/community, I would kindly urge you, after reading this blog, to please give them a call. If they are next to you, give them a hug, treasure them…do not wait until it is too late.

Let us celebrate and do a good deed for our elders. They are the ones who pass down knowledge and wisdom to all of us. By celebrating our elders, we are celebrating our past, and creating our future.

 

Let us not lose the  “long time” values…the values of our elders...

Bring it back…bring it back…bring back the values of our past…of our elders….

 

A bit of humour...

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two..." - Sir Norman Wisdom

"When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile." - George Burns

Let us  all do a “good deed” for  the elders in our lives.